We're currently holding a late night vigil for our pet hamster who we're sure is living out the last of her days. While our eldest seems entirely unperturbed by the whole affair, our middle daughter is totally distraught! This happened last time a pet passed away, so quite why we keep putting her through this, I don't know – is it wise to cause them so much anguish or is this a good way to learn about life (or more accurately, death)?
I would say the joy a pet brings, massively outweighs the loss when they die. Our friend's kids recently found their beloved gerbil in a bit of a state + very dead. The kids were absolutely distraught- it sort of introduced the 'life/death' cycle talk and was v. sad but 6 weeks later they now have 'teddy' the hamster who is a new pet rather than a replacement. Georgia the gerbil still has a loo roll shrine where her tank used to be!
In a funny way, it's preparing the kids for life and not over protecting. It's also teaching them about caring for things, being gentle and responsible. You could try buying pets with a longer lifespan, but to be honest I hadn't prepared quite myself for shovelling rabbit poo for 8 yrs, when 4 years ago the tiny fluffy bunny looked so cute- you know what I mean!
A top tip that I would have when dealing with a bereavement of a much loved family pet it to go a your kids pace and they deal with grief in a very different way to us, I have been asked numerous times to dig up our deceased gerbil in the garden as the kids want to see what she looks like now 3 months of being buried in the garden!! We buried our lovely gerbil in the garden in a 'Boursin' Box!! filled with notes of love from the kids about things that they would miss about her and filled the box also with glitter. I did that for 2 reasons, 1 to give the gerbil a lovely 'bling' send off and also 2 so that when I'm digging in the garden in a year or two and I put my trowel in the earth doing some planting and suddenly come across very glittery mud I know not to dig anymore!!!
Dont rush out and replace your beloved pet as much as you all may feel that you want to as the waves of stages of grief take some time with kids and remember that probably that hopefully will be there first encounter with dealing with a loss and therefore huge.
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